Image from the 2026 Gorton and Denton by-election featuring ‘Vote Green’ placards phalanxed by Palestinian and Pakistani flags
In mid-February of this year, Jim Ratcliffe commented in an interview with Sky News that the UK had been “colonised by immigrants”. The news media and members of the UK Government proceeded to clutch their pearls and stagger towards their méridiennes, such was their shock at such an outrageous and incomprehensible thought. The following days of media coverage were dedicated to the wailing and gnashing of teeth of the Liberal establishment. Every politial commentator and even the House of Commons was all too happy to line up and signal their ‘Very Correct and High Status™’ opinions with even the Chancellor herself (taking a break fom managing the total decimation of the UK economy) wading in to point out that the UK “benefits hugely from our diversity”. Despite this not even coming close to addressing the point Ratcliffe was raising, he made a very non-apology leaving everyone to have a good vent about “far right” and “British Values™” and we all patted ourselves on the back at how wonderfully tolerant we are.
Less than a week later, with the froth dabbed from mouths of the Sensible Centerists and blood pressures back to normal, the Gorton and Denton by-election is underway. Incidentally this was triggeed by the sacking and suspension of then Health Minister Andrew Gwynne for offensive messages in an WhatsApp group where he mocked an elderly resident for trying to raise an issue with bin collections amongst other things:
Interestingly these comments (from a Minister of the Government, no less) that were clearly and singularly intended to offend, did not produce a week-long struggle session for the nation’s media and political classes, as Ratcliffe’s comparatively considered comment did. But I digress.
With the by-election underway the Green Party, in the spirit of unification and clearly wishing to thoroughly discredit the idea that the UK was being colonised by immigrants, decided to run campaign adverts entirely in a foreign language which focused on points regarding Indian PM Modi and Palestine as campaign issues relevant to the people of Gorton and Denton, England. The Green Party candidate, Hannah Spencer, paraded around in a keffiyeh, undertook her first fast for Ramadan and appeared dancing on the streets to a song titled “My Blood is Palestine”.
In the post-election discussion, Sky News dealt a further blow to the idea of mass immigration resulting in enclaves of foreign colonisation by delivering an analysis along ethnic group lines, noting that the “large south-Asian community” of Gorton would be voting Labour/Green. Ratcliffe must have really felt quite the fool.
There is, of course, some vaguely interesting analysis of the results looking at how the by-election was won/lost that could be mentioned. But, predictably ‘Very Correct and High Status™’ opinion people took to their various social media platforms of choice to cry with joy at the defeat of the ‘Far Right’ Reform party (in reality a centerist party based around the cult of Farage, now serving as refuge to failed Tories and containment to their disaffected voters) and crow that this was, clearly, the beginning of some kind of revolution of the Left.
In reality, this was another very large leap in the race to the bottom for Democracy in the UK and with every event like this the nation is degraded a little (or in this case, a lot). MPs should be concerned with local issues but after scouring the coverage from this by-election, I cannot name you one issue that is local to Gorton & Denton. The message to people who have lived there for generations and who have no interest in Palestine or Modi is quite clear; “Dear Resident, f*ck your bins”.
PHASE LINES 